As I sit here adding content, my heart is filled with emotions. I am not sure how to describe what it's like to publicize my entire teenage years. As adolescent as they are, I was a young girl filled with so many feelings of heartache, sadness, hurt, and anger.

As I copy these writings into this blog - for the whole world to see - I am torn. I am torn because, at the time, these emotions were so very private to me. I feel as though I am betraying myself by publishing them. I am disclosing my childhood secrets. At the same time, I am remorseful. As I take this walk down memory lane, I am understanding that the older we become, we forget. We forget what it was like to be twelve years old and have your first crush. We forget what that first heartbreak felt like, and how we never thought we'd get over it. We forget the pain we felt when we lost a childhood friend to accidents, suicide or cancer. I suppose we don't completely forget - as these situations help mold us for our adult lives and our own children. We do; however, lose sight of how we grieved. 

I am also realizing that so many of these memories, I do not remember. That in itself is hard for me to endure. These moments were so very important to me. These were days that I barely had the energy to keep going. These are days that I never thought I would heal from.

When I was younger, and writing these poems, they were journal entries for me. My diary so to speak. I would add to my journal/notebook, document WHO I was writing about, and the date it was written. I was preparing myself for today, so when I looked back, I could remember. As I started typing my work into more organized methods, and easier ways to carry around, I decided to leave off those details. Here, in the now, I wish I wouldn't have done that. I'd like to know who lied to me, who broke my heart, who made me happy, who was there for me in the darkest days of my life. Young me, never thought that old me would forget. I did.

As I close this month, and this chapter of my life, I would like to remind each of you how precious life is. As our children grow, they will experience these same thoughts and emotions that we once did. Our experiences and our turmoils are our path to help them through the hard times, smile through the good times, and love them unconditionally. We are the past generation, and though times have changed, we are all human. We need to pass on the love and heartache to our own and make them better for going through it. 

Cheers to a great March!

♡ TracyAnna ♡